Love Yourself Like Your Life Depends On It by Kamal Ravikant.
Let’s start with a confession: Aunt Alex has never been a fan of touchy-feely, fuzzy-wuzzy talk. She thinks the power of positive thinking is useless without the power of positive doing, and she thinks affirmations are an OK first step, but they’re a waste of time without steps 2 through 20 which involve meaningful focus and changes. Visualization is cool, but visualizing a sandwich isn’t going to resolve your hunger.
Having said that, Aunt Alex and the rest of The Army absolutely, positively want you to love yourself. If you have narcissists in your life, Heaven knows your self-image has been pummeled to a pulp, and self-love has probably taken a back seat to the toad’s needs for a long time. So, the title of this book caught our attention.
Love Yourself Like Your Life Depends On It by Kamal Ravikant is a little pretentious, and the author is a little too self-congratulatory, and the book comes with some shaky testimonials and support. But at $2.99 for the Kindle version, it’s worth a look. Ravikant talks about self-love as a practice rather than an idea, which is spot on, but the part of the book that really got Aunt Alex nodding was the direct application to your daily life. If you’re wondering how to re-start loving yourself like you should, this book lays it out for you: One, understand that you absolutely deserve wonderful things, as does someone else who you might love, and two, ask yourself regularly: If I loved myself like I love my child, or my sister or brother, would I be doing this (whatever it is) right now? Would I be making a decision to start or stop this, right now?
To be more clear, the book points out that if you love yourself properly, and consistently, you won’t take any more shit or flack than you would allow to come through to your beloved son or daughter. This, for some people, can be mind-blowing: How often do we think words or behaviors are tolerable if they’re coming at us, but are wildly inappropriate if they’re directed at someone else? And why the HECK is that so?
If you loved yourself truly, what would you do in a given situation? What would you recommend to a person who you love, if it were her in your shoes?
This is pretty powerful, and, mixed in with the fluff, you’ll find enough quality points to redeem the rest of the book. You’ll read more about re-conditioning the thinking pathways, and correcting the toad thinking which mandates that you, and your needs, come last.
Four out of five Army stars. Recommended.
I wish you would write here more often.
I wish I would too.
This is my read for the weekend. I’m finally getting into the habit of doing what is good for me. And not feeling guilty about it.
Yes, we need to love ourselves and pamper ourselves. We’ve been so beat down from the narc. Work on pampering yourself. If you’re on a budget… see if there’s a beauty school near you……I go there and get excellent facials for $19.
Dear Auntie Alex, the army eagerly awaits further instructions from you…;)xo
Often wondered this myself.. but never given practical” training of loving myself and healthy example, … well you probably guess the results XD
I would advise HER to take it gentle… to take it slowly. to Hang in there, and BE PATIENT… as patient as she has been with all ass*oles and Ns toxics all her life… but this time with herself. I would tell her, that she ..IS worthy… and that only someone with Heart as BIG and as BRAVE as …ocean and lions… could endure, and not only endure but Survive… what she hasd been through all her life
And lastly I would tell her not to beat herself down too much. slow down self hate … and to let herself Be Loved… by actual Real and Healthy people in her life. Not by her Narcisist
To Allow herself and give herself at least 1% chances…she gave him. to change
Its Amazing how forgiving we are with our “Ns… and how cruel we are with us. And if its Good Deed” she want to DO or HELP someone… she should do herself a treat.. and have patience..
a Life of Hurt doesnt get washed up in few months, year… it takles as long as it have to. But she deserves it cause she is good person, who refused to let all darkness..sink her down. she is still breathing
So probably this message would be for Inner Child “Person” in me. Thank you Alex for helping me put into… a message <3 Ineeded this since Im in frail moment… of doubt, obsessing..y know
My ex narcissist boyfriend read this book earlier this year. He’s actually capable of admitting that he has problems loving himself and wants to change. This admission along with the fact that he at least directed some actions to effect change made me stay longer than I should have. He wanted my support in order for him to become a better man. The fact of the matter is that even though he can recognize some of his shortcomings, he can’t magically create empathy for others when it simply isn’t there.
I just stumbled upon your website and sooooo much of what you’ve been saying resonates with me. I didn’t think that my ex N’s crazy, insecure, demeaning, needy, etc. behaviors were all linked together. I was so confused. This website made everything so clear to me. I have since implemented no contact. Thank you so much for your posts!!!!! Please write more when you have time!!!!