This week’s Friday Five — Five bizarre things narcissists have said to Aunt Alex:
1. You are a FAKE!
2. Who are you talking about on that website? Nobody acts like that.
3. Your ‘Blame Game’ approach helps no one, Lady.
4. You think you’re a know-it-all about narcissists? Takes one to know one, doesn’t it?
5. Just another hate site. Bite me, hater “auntie”.
Wow. Brainiacs I tell ya! Brainiacs!
Poor narcissists seem to be a little upset, because you reduce the number of their victims. I bet they have no ability to imagine what’s the matter with them.
“The truth will set you free. But first, it will piss you off.” ~Gloria Steinem
Of course, this is lost on these narcissists, who are usually perpetually stuck in the denial stage of owning their bad behavior!
Your insight helps. I am three years out of a three decade marriage to Pretend Guy. Life still feels surreal. I still get defensive and distrustful when someone comes on strong. My confidence in my own instincts is shaky. He still finds ways to get at me through third parties. He still wrangles for contact- I have gone to great lengths to prevent contact. Dating again- hah! I am happy when I manage dinner with a woman friend.
The huge red flag was that whenever I had a health or emotional issue he vanished – I now know into the bed of the nearest available woman! Will the fog ever lift? I want ME back.
No2 made me splutter my tea all over the keyboard..Thanks!!! ;D xx
Please don’t get sidetracked by these comments. Probably from narcs anyway. You are just what we victims need! Tell it like it is!
DEAR Aunt Alex,
Everything you have written about narcissists is accurate. I am almost speechless at how dead-on you are about these very frightening and destructive people! I will email you or just post my story on here sometime soon I hope and describe my situation. It has been nothing short of devastating and shocking to realize how trapped one can be as the victim of one of these heartless cold individuals. All these hate comments towards you are simply untrue or pure ignorance. Anyone who has not truly had a close relationship with one of these monsters has no idea, no clue. Psychiatrists and psychologists are even in denial themselves over these people, probably because so many of them are narcissists as well! More to come from me I hope, and please keep blogging and spreading the truth about a very forgotten and ignored subject which requires much more awareness!
This is all SO good!!! You know you’ve hit the truth when people get nasty and mean. Anyone who had any sincere concern about your site would engage in considerate dialogue. It can be scary, but it’s also very truth-telling and even funny when these toads start foaming at the mouth when people’s eyes are opened to their ugliness! And there are.So. Many. Toads. Keep up the great work, Auntie-we love you!
Ba ha ha ha. Have just found your site and have now done a little wee in my panties! After 27 years of game playing, the truth finally pissed my narcissist off….literally. He chose my birthday to ‘piss off’ on me while I was out (after I told him I was done with him and that I was moving out). Dear little toad…. I knew he would want to take control and make it look like it was his decision for us splitting up…he can have the control… and I can have the house…ba ha ha ha!
That was back in April, and no, it hasn’t been an easy ride….because I ignored him after he left, he stole my mail, broke in and took a few of his own things, attacked the mirror on my car (how appropriate) and then came back and said I stole his things and attacked my own car! He even blamed me for his feet being cold! He has no doubt been kicking sand in his own face and blaming me for that as well. I have been reading everything I could about narcissism…most sites are way to serious for me. This site is the best. Alex, thank you….for the first time in months I am really laughing at the ex toad. He keeps trying to push my buttons in passive aggressive/sneaky/stealth like ways but my ‘on’ button with him is permanently ‘off’….and the door to my vjj has a sign on it which reads “Closed for repairs..new staff required on re-opening”
Thanks again…I am a new fan xxx
What made me love your book and actually laugh out loud for the first time in a long time:
“If the most sensitive thing he’s said in six months is, “Your sister’s really beautiful”, or, “I mean, she’s REALLY beautiful?”, he might be a narcissist.”
What made me KNOW that this was the book for me and that I was NOT the crazy, insensitive one after all:
“If within ten hours after your wedding he undergoes a shift that would make Dr. Jekyl jealous and act like he can’t stand being with you, a demeanor that hangs around in varying degrees for the rest of your relationship, he’s very probably a narcissist.”
This book was like actual SOLID PROOF that I wasn’t going crazy and he really WAS doing all the stuff on purpose like I thought he was!!
I would like to add my own, “You know he’s a Narcissist if, ”
within TWO hours of finding out you are pregnant he acts like he can’t stand being with you unless his friends or family are around for them to SEE him dote on you and then the minute they leave, he gets incredibly angry at you for absolutely nothing and then ignores you until some other friend or family of his comes over. Even if there is no company for a week.
Dear Aunt Amy, you’re the Lizabeth Salander of the narcissist world; If I were gay I’d have the hots for you. Somehow you manage not only to shed light in dark places but you make us roll with laughter as you swing your lantern over the morass the toad has created. Keep on preaching, they should be teaching this in junior high gym class along with personal hygiene and volley ball.
Long live Aunt Amy the lamp lighter!
If i stand outside my eighteen year old self and take a good look I would smack myself hard. its hard to believe i loved him and its really hard to understand why I give him the benefit of the doubt for twenty years and hope for him to be a normal human.
I have to deal with him still after divorce, only recently knowing what he is. If i could cut the ties I would but we have three children or little pawns in his eyes.