1. My cat, who STILL hasn’t been caught trying on my underwear.
2. Mace.
3. The Showtime TV series “Dexter”, a heartwarming show where the (admittedly, disordered himself) lead character secretly hunts and kills narcissistic murderers. It’s so touching. *sniff*
4. Every woman who stays with her toady narcissist, which keeps him away from the rest of us.
5. Caller-ID. REALLY cuts into the stalking effectiveness of toads.
6. People who step up and say something, when they think there’s something off about the date or partner of their friends or family. They usually get ignored or even shunned, but they speak up anyway, and don’t just play along. They’re the unsung heroes.
7. Wine, Mother Nature’s lie detector. (Ever watched a drunk narcissist try to keep his lies straight? PA-THE-TIC.)
8. The Internet. Yeah, there’s a lot of crap, and even some dangerously misleading crap, but never before have so many been able to share so much richness with those who want to listen.
9. Nutella. Have you ever tried that stuff? My Lord.
10. And of course Auntie Alex is grateful for you, Dear. The Army’s got your back. Shake off that toad and the nonsense he forced into your head, and you’ll achieve magical and amazing things.
And I am grateful to you for your sense of timing. I always seem to have a time when I look back on the whole sorry thing and think “it was not that bad, may be I exaggerated it, may be I misunderstood or made the whole narcissistic thing up, may be I have pathologised him wrongly etc ( and I am over one year no contact)……. Thankfully within a few days, I have auntie Alex to remind me …..
I could add a #11. Thank God for restraining orders and #12. Thank God I am not the only one who has been through this. The cognitive dissonance and reality problems—AGGGGGH. Knowing I am not alone helps keep it real.
I may not have a cat – but I have seven dogs! ..and although they have destroyed underwear and shoes, I am fairly certain they don’t wear them first.. Love your blog!
If wine is a lie-detector, I think beer might be a truth teller and a great crush-crusher, when he told me (drunk indeed):
“I just want a girlfriend who’ll wait up for me (at home) while I am out with my friends”
I’ll go with you thanks for the internet. In the wake of the N, I met so many generous souls who were also hurting. Several have become my close friends in the flesh. We don’t even bother talking about all of that boring N-crap anymore. I’m thankful for moving on.
I must agree with you on the Nutella – At Costco – two huge jars for less than the cost of one at a grocery chain. Truly liberal mothers let their children have it on toast for breakfast. Gulity as charged.
Alwaysjan is right – fellow survivors become friends.
Hmmmm i’m agreeing with the beer being a truth teller, just brought to mind getting home from a night out together (rather tipsy to say the least) when my exN randomely said “You dont know how much I love you, (always used to state that) if you went with someone else, i’d still take you back!”…..Random & yes, I did ask why he’d say such an outlandish thing but as usual it got lost in translation as i’m not fluent in gobbledegook! I do, however, now understand the language of projection 😉 xx
There are some great songs by Holly Golightly which are really fun. I recommend “Walk a mile in my shoes”, “My 45”, “You ain’t no big thing”, and “Accuse me”.
Why the hell do they want to have sex in women’s clothes ?
Searched for an answer and still don’nt have a clue – would be grateful of any replies.
Thanks