It’s private, it’s protected, and it’s to help us make deep and meaningful steps forward, because we’ll be addressing the cravings. Those cravings are primal and they come from the parents, because the first cut is the deepest.
Meant to supplement, not replace, any forums or supports you’re currently using.
http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/aunt_alexs_army/
Cravings…how apt. I’ve very recently come to the conclusion that I have played a part in perpetuating narc relationships, because I crave having my life manipulated to feel like I exist. Yes, I’m ashamed, but I have to tell the truth. It’s not what I want for myself, and I didn’t even realize it before. I grew up with an n alcoholic mom. Our lives rose and fell on her whims and moods. We knew nothing but being living weather vanes, alert to every change, nuance and ripple in her mood so we could adjust, hide, placate…survive. I’ve unconsiously looked for it all my life – it was all I knew. I’ve noticed my relationships always had an “addictive” quality. I’m like a junkie, I need manipulation fixes! I want to change, I have to, or I might kill the next narc I let into my life.
It’s been two years since I’ve been with him sometimes I still miss him. But I hate him more than miss him. This is the first time I’ve posted anywhere about my feelings. I just can’t believe how madly in love I was with this sociopath. I need help….
Christine; In response to your post, I also recognise how I have attracted and been attracted to the narcs in my life. I grew up with a narcissistic mother who controlled and manipulated my life even until I was in my 30’s. I’ve since been attracted to powerful and controlling men who I would fight tooth and nail with (always unsuccessfully) to get my needs met. This has been a terrible revelation for me to take on board, and it has taken me years of therapy to finally understand my part and own responsibility in these relationships. I so want to experience a healthy, balanced relationship of true give and take and am still working on myself, but I’m so grateful for the insights that pages like this have brought. Thanks to everyone who has had the courage to share their experiences.