It can seem like narcissists are everywhere and there’s a critical infestation of them in modern society. It can seem that way for two reasons — one, some of us seem to suck them toward us like moths to light, and so we can end up surrounded by them with only a few good people mixed in. And two, narcissists end up in the news more frequently than good people, and so it seems like they’re in every important office, story, and crisis in the world. And that’s a lot of narcissists.
Now, don’t get me wrong. I recognize that there are way, WAY too many narcissists in the world. But maybe not as many as it seems, since they do tend to be represented disproportionately in the news. Why is this? Glad you asked. This is because narcissists SCREW UP, they GET CAUGHT, and they’re SO RIDICULOUS THAT THE MEDIA SHOWCASES THEM BECAUSE IT’S FUN TO WATCH THE ABSURD SELF-DESTRUCTION.
We’re not going to name names here, at least not in my soapbox part — you guys can go wild in the comments if you like. But whether it’s a politician who embezzles money and molests the receptionist because he thinks he can get away with it, or the real estate amateur who buys properties by lying on the mortgage applications, and defaults on the mortgages and says “no one was hurt, so it’s OK”; or the scammer, the abuser, the shooter or the fallen clergyman who is found to be neck-deep in the very same crimes he’d rail against on the pulpit — all in the news, all creeps, and all basking us in their narcissistic glory. Drunk driving arrests for the narcissistic General can be rampant, while he talks publicly about how law-abiding he is. As Governor, the narcissist will genuflect himself and his ideas about how he’ll perform miracles of social conscience, while taking bribes and lying on his taxes and not doing a thing for the people. The assclown star athlete sexually assaults his fans, because he thinks he can get away with it. The certain actor picks fights, has tantrums, and starts ruckuses that get him arrested, because he’s a narcissist behaving like a spoiled brat. Sometimes the news can look like a Parade of Narcissistic Idiots — and sometimes it IS a Parade of Narcissistic Idiots.
There may be lots of narcissists around, and some of them may be popular to the masses, but that is NOT a justification for being with one. It’s not cool to get entangled with them because they seem like the “new normal”, or because you’re pretty sure you can tame and help and change this one because he’s not so glaring in his traits as some others you’ve heard about. Hone your detection skills, Friends, get good at recognizing and avoiding, and try not to be standing next to one of them when he finds his butt on the evening news.