This week’s Friday Five — Five things that are WAY more likely than a narcissist ever changing for the better.
1. Dating a guy who’s saved the lives of two million babies.
2. Petting a unicorn whale.
3. Meeting a college freshman who’s 102 years old.
4. Four dogs destroying your truck, trying to chase a kitten.
5. Dating a guy whose house has been hit by meteorites six times.
This is fake, FYI, but some good fun. Just picture your local narcissist as the guy who hit the car full of grandmas, and then tried to blame it on them. Such a sweet story.
Sound like anyone you know?
This week’s Friday Five — Five ways in which narcissists reveal their profound insecurities:
1. Dressing like a teenage skateboarder, except with a goatee, even though he’s 44 and wrinkly.
2. Checks his phone for texts at least 92 times an hour, even though no one texts him except for Verizon telling him his credit card is expired.
3. In board games with kids, gets into arguments with them about the rules and pouts if he loses.
4. Accidentally hits an opossum with his truck, and says, with a straight face, “That thing didn’t know who it was dealing with.”
5. Says, “If I were to ask you to move in with me, what would you say?” You answer, “Are you asking me to move in with you?” He replies, again with the straight face, “No, I’m just asking what you would say if I did.”