:: Because Aunt Alex gets mail.
Dear Aunt Alex:
The flaming narcissist ex has a new girlfriend, and she seems (from a distance) to be a nice person. I feel like I should warn her. How should I do this? Write her a letter, give her a call? And when is the right time?
Well, aren’t you an altruistic dear. Aunt Alex loves that about you.
However, come on over here and sit in this chair, Dear, and let the Army cadets wrap this rope around you until these helpful feelings of yours pass.
Nothing about this is a good idea, and here’s the worst part of this not-good idea: You’re staying engaged. You’re staying involved, and I do daresay that your wanting to stay involved in his life is the main reason you want to warn this poor woman about the mess in which she’s finding herself.
But, we needn’t rank your motives in any order, or even look at them more closely than that. How should you do this? You shouldn’t. When is the right time? Never. She won’t listen and has to find out for herself. You need to detach, mourn the loss of your hopes, and put all of this love and concern into your own life and future.
Now, you let me know if those ropes are too tight, and I’ll go get you some nice rice pudding with cardamom.