We have a lot to talk about, and much to do. But let’s get warmed up with a few quotes. After all, when something needs to be said, sometimes someone’s already said it.
“…(T)he problem isn’t that a guy with a personality disorder needs more time or love, it’s that you’re working with extremely poor material. These guys have something wrong with them. And our goal is to get to a place where, when we hear that and know it’s true, we say, ‘Enough said.’ ”
–L.M.
“With toxic men, relationships without boundaries are downright dangerous. You lose yourself in his reality, and his reality is a distorted, self-centered one.”
–Joseph W. Rock, Psy.D and Barry L. Duncan, Psy.D.
“Though no one can go back and make a brand new start, anyone can start from now and make a brand new ending.”
–Carl Bard
“… Controllers are shocked if the relationship ends. They not only don’t know that they are pretending, they don’t know that their ignorance predisposes them to mind-boggling behaviors. Their idea of themselves as “wonderful” blinds them to the impact of their behavior — reactions to, and defenses against, all threats to their illusory connection. They are difficult to deal with at best. They are terrifying and life-threatening at worst.”
–Patricia Evans
“[The narcissist] is a … master at frustrating others – frustrating their small and big hopes, their need for attention, reassurance, time, company, enjoyment. When others remonstrate against such treatment, [he tells himself] it is their neurotic sensitivity that makes them react this way.”
–Karen Horney MD
“What you are will show in what you do.”
–Thomas A. Edison
“[The narcissist] may be extremely proud, consciously or unconsciously, of his faculty of fooling everybody — and in his arrogance and contempt for others believes that he actually succeeds in this.”
–Karen Horney MD
Got any quotables you’d like to share?
Absolutely love these quotes! Everyone of them is so true. I have posted a link to your blog on my blog. Some insightful writing here!
My favourite ‘Big Red Flag’ quote
They can talk the talk, but not walk the walk.
“narcissists are like a human rollercoaster—fun for a limited time. Nauseating in the long run”.
“trying to get love from a narcissist is like going to the hardware store to buy milk”
Here is a direct quote, the first of MANY red flags;
“I will give it to you when I have time, IF you want it.”
Isnt that lovely?
It hurts when we risk our HEART and it ends up being broken
BUT
What hurts more is when we still hold on when we already know we are waiting for NOTHING!!
I wrote this down two years ago and just found it now. It has been three weeks of no contact with my N. I was on a merry-go-round for four years and I should have gotten off the ride two months into our relationship. Actually probably the first day. The sad thing is I think most of you like me knew it would never work out but did not want to end it just quite yet. I was always waiting for a huge revelation to take place, a huge scene and that would be that. What happened was me starting to make up excuses for him and starting to ignore all the lies, cheating, etc. etc. that I discovered. So many stories I have.
On our four year anniversary day I found out yet another lie and another girl he is secretly seeing. I am still just stunned, but why? He has been doing this the entire four years. I have called ALL my siblings and best friends and told them everything( I was too embarrassed to tell people what our relationship was really like). I am being accountable for myself and my two boys most of all. Get a support group and have them make you accountable for not talking or seeing the N. It is so hard but my mind is actually clearing up some. I thought I was going crazy!!!!
Clearing up the mind is for sure TTSTI! I can work again now that its over. I can think straight, I can love people, I can love myself! What a wonderful gift. Sorry I waited so long but onward and upward, love and support to all. Grieve as needed but seize the moment too! We’ve lost too much time to them already and theres so much beauty to be found elsewhere. YOU deserve it! : )
Stupid me… i just wanted to help, and I am the one who ended up in therapy! LOL!